honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
