When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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