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so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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