it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So much rum. So many feels.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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