Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Panties = found
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
