Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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