I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize