I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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