I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Drake has all the answers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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