yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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