An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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