We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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