...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
