my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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