oh god the rape fog is back!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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