I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize