I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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