His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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