This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
