Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
