Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
