They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
try to milk me bitch
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize