he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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