How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
