check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
