Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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