ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
