I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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