ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
