If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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