Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
