how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
