Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
