So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
