yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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