The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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