is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
