Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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