She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
