I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
