She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize