I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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