A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
