i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
