his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think people are normalizing furries
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
