After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
