everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
