everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize