Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
