I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
