I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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