his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
