$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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