the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
