He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize