I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
