I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
