No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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