I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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