When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
